This is my first video rant and is on the topic of managing mental health and how much diagnosis can help in understanding and managing mental illness. I did start to write this as an article but I decided to try something new, so ignore the anxious hand waving and bad angle – I’ll … More Diagnosis and managing mental health
Overwhelmed and unable to do anything about it, I flounder around for relief and comfort that my torn and tormented brain won’t accept. Rest is needed but cannot be achieved until duties are fulfilled, work is needed but cannot be completed until there is rest. Balancing acts of precarious necessities as I try to get … More In Search of Still Waters
I am a mother. Telling people this still makes me nervous, and my son is six years old now. I had him at nineteen. He lives with my mum. He stays with me one night a week. I’m not with his dad anymore, and have no input on his seeing or not seeing his dad. … More Good Enough
With each passing perfection Each faded, withered beauty I am more myself. The monster made flesh. Crumbling from the inside out. See me now? See what I am? Or not quite yet? Give it time For sweetness to sour The rot to spread.
I’m sitting here contemplating another night without sleep. Self-flagellation or pain avoidance I can’t tell. I tell myself if I stay up it’s longer until I have to go to work. If I go to bed now I blink and it’s time to walk in the cold and dark to another 14 hour shift. I … More The All Nighter
When I cannot sleep, When my thoughts predict and project, and terror of the next day takes ahold I will remember a shared bed, No space Your breath on my skin hemmed in And I will spread my limbs wide and watch as the sun rises
Can I be done now? See this game has no end in sight and it’s hard and boring and I’m ready to pack away my controller. I’m no good at games and this one is no exception. Let me pause, get a cuppa and watch some TV Before I tackle the next mission. The players … More Game Over
How I Disappear It starts with, “please don’t fight. I hate it when we fight.” Fighting is so integral that without it you are nothing like me. But you comply because he says, “couples shouldn’t fight like this”, all accusation, no room for negotiation. You learn that fighting is never reasonable, no matter what you’re … More How I Disappear
Spitfire Words 